Going through loss and grief is one of the harder parts of life that no one can truly escape. Some individuals face it early, losing a parent or friend to a sudden illness or watching a friend disappear from drug use, while others escape it until later in life, losing grandparents to age or someone to a car crash. No matter what the situation is, loss and the resulting grief it creates can be devastating. However, in most cases, people tend to show and experience very little actual outward grief. There are tears in bedrooms behind closed doors or avoided conversations. To tell the truth, many people have experienced the unspoken societal norm that causes them to hold in their grief because they don’t have permission to mourn the way they want to.
Thankfully, Tom Zuba is bringing back the permission to mourn that so many people need.
In Zuba’s book “Permission to Mourn” he discusses a new way to do grief. Zuba is speaking from experience here too after losing his daughter Erin, his wife Trici and his son Rory. Like many others, Zuba went through the emotional turmoil of repression, denial, numbing and any and all emotions he had that came up. This way of dealing with grief only adds pain on top of pain. Thankfully, Zuba also found a way out of this destructive pattern, a new way to grieve and find healing. In the process of finding this new way to do grief, Zuba discovered several key points:
- Grief is not the enemy
- Grief can be one of the greatest teachers
- The stories we tell determine whether or not we will heal
- We will always have a relationship with those we love that have died
- We were not born to suffer
Armed with his own experiences and these new key points, Zuba helps readers learn how to grieve, offering those living with the death of a loved one with the tools, knowledge and wisdom to create a full life. Readers have described “Permission to Mourn” as a “direct, yet poetic way to begin to move into the peace that can be found by all…who grieve a great loss” with “simple but eloquent” wording, delivered with “hope, wisdom and love.”
Tom Zuba is a life coach, author and speaker. He coaches clients who are learning to live with the death of a loved one, facilitates workshops and conferences, and also works with social work, psychology nursing and medical professionals on a new way to do grief.